Ferns over at Domme Chronicles has a wonderful post responding to a reader’s question about “Domination on his timetable” , with some great tips on how to re-enforce the dynamic when time-crunched. I thought in support it might be interesting to illustrate my typical day as a sub in a 24/7 D/s relationship.
Let’s look at a work day…..
- make breakfast and coffee, do dishes
- feed cats, dogs, and horses
- shower and dress
7:30 AM – Work
- drive 45 minutes
- attend a design review meeting
- lunch – run errands
- attend a client status meeting
- conduct an interview
- design work
- drive 45 minutes
- feed and water horses
- muck all corrals
- make dinner, clean dishes
- do laundry
- clean litter boxes
- computer time/reading
Hot, huh? Damn, D/s can be exciting! Guess what? I was actually wearing mens clothes, and didn’t even have a butt plug in! ”But there’s at least a massage!”, you say. Bad news, Lady Pagan gets a massage each night due to an injured shoulder, it’s decidedly painful, and definitely not sensual….
To Ferns’s point, it’s not always about what you do that’s new, it’s the new ways you do the stuff that is old….let’s look at Lady Pagan’s additions to my day:
- Coffee and breakfast – Delivered to Lady Pagan in bed every morning. I kneel, and stay kneeling until she motions for me to rise and sit on the bed. This is our first real time to connect, and we talk about Milady’s plans , what special instructions she might have for me, and anything else that’s on our mind.
- Shower and dress – The usual, except Lady Pagan decides what I am to wear, and approves it before I leave. I’m required to wear a collar necklace under my dress shirt, and she’ll often have me also wear a heavy pendant attached to it as a reminder.
- When leaving home – I bow before her, kiss both hands, and stay there until she has me rise.
- Work – I’m required to be available via Skype at all times, either on laptop or via phone, regardless of meetings or travel. I’m also required to check-in three times a day with what I’m doing.
- Lunch – Run errands for Milady or go to gym, based upon her direction during my noon check-in.
- When returning home – I bow before her, kiss both hands, and stay there until she has me rise.
- Evening shower – More time together…I wash her back, hair, and apply lotion afterwards.
- Computer time – I complete a journal entry for the day, recounting the days activities and focusing on feelings and thoughts related to us and our dynamic. Typically I’ll have collar and leash attached, and will be on the floor, or seated on the sofa beside her.
- Bedtime – I kneel at bedside and ask Milady’s permission to join her in bed. She’ll have me rise, and come to bed.
- Laptime – I rest my head in Milady’s lap while she reviews my journal, and we discuss it, our day, other thoughts, etc.
Same day, with more color on what happened. If you’re a sub, at this point you’re probably thinking one of two things: ”Great day! I’d be doing happy Snoopy dances!” or “I don’t get it, where’s the sex?!”. If it’s this first thought, congratulations, you do get it. If it’s the second thought, you probably won’t.
As for the Kink, it’s important, and Lady Pagan will fill in those blanks, but in terms of our real life D/s, a dirty litter box comes first.
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